The Doctor, the TARDIS, and the Demon
by TimeLordSPARTAN
Summary: Jane-139 is a SPARTAN, a genetically modified, cybernetically enhanced, heavily armoured killing machine. The Doctor is an alien, the last of his kind, with a time-and-space machine, who travels anywhere, anywhen, to help people and worlds in dire need. What happens when the warrior and the healer meet? Little do either of them know, Jane is hiding a secret. Even from herself.
1. The Jump

**Hello everyone, this is my first fanfic. Please let me know what you think in a review, I honestly want any and all criticism you have. And if I spell anything wrong, or make a grammatical error, just tell me. I want to get those things right.**

The TARDIS shuddered violently as it flew swiftly through the sub-space-time tunnel that was the Time Vortex. Inside, The Doctor danced around the six-sided console, pressing buttons and pulling levers seemingly at random. He stopped for a moment and the time machine jolted forcefully, his hand hovering over a bank of blue switches, which looked completely unused in comparison to all the heavily worn buttons, levers, switches and dials around them.

"No," he said quietly.

"They're boring-ers. Not stabilisers. They make it boring." He resumed his mad, capering, random-button-pushing dance as the time rotor VWOOOOOORPed repeatedly.

* * *

SPARTAN-X designation Jane-139 hurtled through space, testing the limits of the small, egg-shaped capsule she rode in. As the machine neared its top speed, she flipped a switch and the space in front of her ruptured, forming a swirling, blue-white wormhole in front of her. Jane grinned.

"This is Sierra Juliet-one-three-niner to UNSC _Infinity_, do you read me?" she spoke into the comm device inside of her golden visor.

"_Infinity_ receiving, we have you loud and clear, Jane"

"Slip-space rupture achieved, proceeding to jump."

"Roger that. We'll test the slip-space comms while you're in there."

"Roger. See you soon, _Infinity_."

"Over and out."

Jane flipped another switch, shutting off her standard comms and activating the slip-space comms inside the ship. As she eased the control pods forward, Kate spoke up.

"Jane, I'm picking up something moving on a level _beneath_ slip-space."

"That's impossible," was Jane's short reply.

"To you, maybe. To me? I've seen a lot of strange occurrences, and this one isn't even that strange. If an A.I. can believe in it, it's pretty possible. You _know_ we don't believe easily."

Jane was silent, thinking.

"Find this movement, and figure out how to get to it."

* * *

The Doctor was dancing around his console faster and more frantically than usual, but he wasn't doing much to the console itself. Amy and Rory staggered into the control room just before the TARDIS jolted so violently that for an instant they were in free-fall. Amy clung to the railing of the walkway, desperately trying to stay on her feet. She failed miserably a moment later when the time machine slewed suddenly to one side.

"Doctor! What's going on?" she screamed.

"We're being chased!" was his reply.

"I thought there were no other time machines in the universe!"

"Well, I guess I was wrong about that!"

* * *

"What is it?" Jane asked. Her A.I. manifested her holographic avatar on the dashboard to explain.

"Put simply, it appears to be a mid-1900's Mackenzie Trench-style police box."

"A _what?"_

"A mid 1900's Mackenzie Trench-"

"I heard you, but what is it doing flying through a sub-slip-space tunnel? This is the first time anyone has been here!"

Kate shrugged.

"Let's find out!"

Jane grinned. It was just like her to suggest that. She pushed the control pods as far forward as she could reach, and the pod she rode in sped up explosively, hurtling through the sub-slip-space tunnel after the police box.

Jane flipped another switch on the control pods, transmitting her voice to the strange vessel she pursued.

* * *

_"This is SPARTAN Jane-139 of the UNSC _Infinity_. You are ordered to halt your vessel and exit the sub-slip-space tunnel. If you do not comply, lethal force is authorised. Repeat, this is SPARTAN Jane-139 of the UNSC _Infinity._ You are ordered to…"_

The voice echoed through the TARDIS, repeating itself over and over as the time machine slowly stopped its violent shuddering. The Doctor had finally flipped the blue "boring-ers" as he termed them.

Amy and Rory slowly, shakily stood up. The Doctor was standing at the controls, staring at the screen. They walked over to him, watching the screen as the strange, animated circular shapes followed their odd rotations.

_This is SPARTAN Jane-139 of the UNSC _Infinity_. You are ordered to halt your vessel and exit the sub-slip-space tunnel. If you do not comply, lethal force is authorised. This is your last warning._

The Doctor swiftly ran around the console, pressing all manner of buttons and switches.

* * *

The police box disappeared from the radar.

"Drop us out of here, Kate!" The ship rapidly decelerated as it fell out of the Time Vortex just as the hostile environment depleted the shields and scorched the hull. Jane watched as the police box sped toward the nearest planet. She grinned and pushed the control pods forward again, accelerating after it.

* * *

The planet had no name, for it was inhospitable to almost all life. Once it had had a name, back when the Tartarans had existed. Tartarus. The Doctor had been before, of course, but under much different circumstances. Tartarus had been the only planet he had been unable to save. (after Gallifrey, of course)

The TARDIS landed on the barren planet, the time rotor inside slowing as The Doctor flipped various switches and levers. Amy had always wondered why the time machine needed so many controls. Every time The Doctor tried to explain, however, she found herself drifting off, his constant incomprehensible technobabble making it impossible to stay awake. She made to follow The Doctor as he walked to the doors, but he simply turned around and told them to "stay put, Ponds"

The Doctor opened the doors and walked out, seeming more confident than he was. The planet was silent but for the whistling wind, a sandy desert of a world with no life but him on it. He listened quietly. A soft hum reached his ears, presumably from the ship that had followed him. Suddenly, the egg-shaped ship, large enough for a person (with a foot on all sides) to sit in. After it touched down, the top of it seemed to flow open to reveal what The Doctor at first took to be a new kind of Cyberman. The humanoid figure, who only just fit in the ship, clambered out and dropped to the ground heavily before him. It reached up and turned its "head" 45 degrees anticlockwise before lifting it off.

* * *

Jane gratefully shook her hair out, letting the desert planet's winds refresh her after so long spent in the sweaty prison of her helmet. Bringing herself back to the point of why she was there, she turned to the man in front of her.

"State your name, vessel name and purpose for flying please," she ordered, almost wincing at how much like a machine she sounded.

"The Doctor, The TARDIS (or Sexy, depending on wether you ask me or it), because I stole it from my people who are now dead and because its fun."

Jane stared at him.

"Sexy?"

"Yeah, that's the old girl's name for herself," he said, patting the battered old police box proudly. Jane watched as the doors opened and a 21-year-old redhead girl stepped out with a man of the same age. The Doctor sighed.

"Ponds! I told you both to stay put."

"Yeah, well, its pretty boring inside without you," The man responded. Jane shook her head, confused.

"How can the three of you all fit inside that police box?"

"Magic," the man told her.

"I'm Amy," the girl said, holding out her hand. Jane shook it, making sure her shields were on just in case.

"This idiot's name is Rory. He's my husband." Rory held out his hand too, and Jane shook it firmly. She turned back to The Doctor.

"I'm going to have to search your vessel, just as a security measure, you understand. It shouldn't take long," she said, running a critical eye over the box. "About two minutes, I should say." Rory sniggered.

"It takes longer than that to find our room," he said. The Doctor turned to the doors and inserted a small key. After the doors had opened, Jane stared. She slowly walked inside, the others filing in behind her.

"Okay, this will take a bit longer than I thought."

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	2. Step back, sir

_This machine is so... strange._

Jane had been walking through the endless corridors of the police box for what seemed like hours. They all seemed to be the same, and she had long since lost count of the rooms. Eventually, she ended up back inside the main room. The Doctor was leaning on the hexagonal console in the centre, his arms crossed smugly.

"Finished yet?" he asked. Jane groaned within her helmet, which she had put back on in case of environmental hazards. The Doctor stiffened when he heard a second, electronic-tinged voice emitting from the SPARTAN's head.

"Actually, I'm getting this funny feeling that we're not even _close_ to being finished," Kate replied to him.

"Who's that?" he asked, seeming almost scared. Jane reached up to the back of her helmet and took out the small A.I. storage device from its port. Instantly Kate manifested her avatar, which she had specifically modeled on Cortana, an A.I. who had become a legend amongst the UNSC for her single-minded devotion to the safety of the Master Chief himself. Kate's version was clothed in casual jeans and a tank top, however.

"Hi there! I'm UNSC A.I. serial number Kilo-69132481, but Jane here calls me Kate because she can't remember so many numbers." Jane removed her helmet with her free hand and scowled.

"I call you Kate because it's one syllable! Kilo-69132481 is _way_ too much of a mouthful. Anyway, you like being called that!" Kate giggled. Suddenly, a circle opened in the ground by the central console and a cylinder rose out of it. The cylinder reminded Jane of the A.I. ports that the Didact's ship had had. Kate didn't seem surprised in the slightest, despite the fact that even The Doctor was scratching his head and questioning why it was there. At Kate's urging, Jane walked over to the terminal, her heavy metal boots clanking heavily on the metal walkways, and inserted the A.I. chip into the terminal.

"Oh!" Kate's eyes widened - or her avatar's did, at least - as she was linked to the TARDIS systems.

"Hang on, Jane, I'll be right back," Kate said, before ditching her avatar and manifesting as a glowing orb, which faded as she began to explore.

* * *

Kate sailed along the lines of data, absorbing all the information she could at once. Eventually, she came across a wall. To her data-based perception, which made the entire system a library to her, this wall appeared to be both transparent and opaque, both solid and gas, as if she could simply walk straight through it, yet, at the same time, she couldn't.

_What is this thing? _she wondered. Another voice chuckled softly.

_I could have asked the same thing about you. _It spoke, seemingly within Kate's head.

_What are _you?_ and _where_ are you?_ Kate asked, casting her consciousness about, attempting to find the source

_Oh, don't bother trying to find me. You're already inside me. I'm the TARDIS. But you can call me Sexy._

* * *

Jane crossed her arms, tapping her foot against the platform and creating an awful racket as metal met metal.

"Sorry, but could you just... you know... stop that? It's kind of irritating," Amy asked as she walked over nervously.

"Ma'am, I'm afraid if you take one more step towards me I will be forced to shoot you," Jane replied, whipping her BR85 heavy barrel service rifle off of the magnetic holster on her back and shouldering it in one smooth, well-trained motion. Amy held up her hands to show she wasn't holding anything, and backed off a step.

"Hey, I didn't mean anything by it, I was just asking," she stuttered.

"This has gone on long enough. Kate!" Jane called, turning back to the console and banging it with her fist, trying to get her A.I.'s attention. some sparks flew from the controls where her fist left a significant dent. The Doctor ran over, looking both angry and upset at Jane's treatment of his beloved TARDIS.

"Oi! Leave my TARDIS alone! She gets enough banging from day-to-day travel, and she most definitely does _not_ need you hitting her!" he seemed to be getting more and more enraged. He walked right up to her, and glared straight into the SPARTAN's eyes. Jane returned the gaze evenly, her eyes not even flinching.

She fired a three-round burst into the floor right between The Doctor's feet

"Step backwards roughly ten steps, sir, or my next burst will enter your thigh roughly... here," she spoke evenly, lightly pressing her BR85 into The Doctor's thigh, but no-one in the room doubted her. She was clearly used to fighting, and from the dent no-one doubted she was strong enough to kill all of them with ease, even without the gun. The Doctor tried to reason with her.

"Now, you look here, this ship is not only incredibly amazing, she's alive! And you've hit her! Abused her! Defaced her and-" he was cut off by the sound of a burst of rounds from Jane's battle rifle.

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**So far I've just posted two - count 'em two - chapters in twelve hours. This is pretty good for me, but don't go expecting two chapters a day every day. I'm just starting year 11 at school at the moment, so I'm not gonna have much time during the week, and I might not even have time on the weekends. All I'm saying is, I may have long gaps between posts at some times, so please don't give me a hard time if you need to wait. I'm not a machine.**

**That was just a pre-emptive response to people who might have issues with the gaps I may or may not end up with.**

**Anyway, ****everyone, I just want to say, I really just don't know what that last part meant. The story is kind of just evolving as I go. What I really need is people's opinions. Who do _you__ think_ Jane is? Is she really mean, just having a bad day, or following orders? I guess we'll find out when Jane finds out she's stuck in a- **

*******ahem* **

******I'm getting ahead of myself. And of the story. Anyway, leave a review, tell me what you think of it, and what you think might/should happen. Thank you all for reading this so far, and hopefully I'll come up with more chapters soon.**


	3. Take Me to a Wardrobe

Jane awoke to find herself trapped in a small, metal room. The room was featureless, the walls perfectly smooth and unbroken by cracks or joins. The single door appeared to be constructed of the same flawless metal as the walls.

"Kate?" Jane asked tentatively. No response. It was only then that she noticed her lack of a HUD. Quickly, she checked the rest of her body, patting herself down, searching for her armour. It had all been removed, leaving her in her underclothes. All Jane could think was: _I hope it was the girl._

The voices of the people who had been with the man she had shot - The Doctor - came to her over a speaker mounted on the ceiling, one which she had never noticed prior to this.

"I wonder what she's thinking?" the girl said.

"I don't think we want to know," the man replied. Jane was looking around, figuring out where the mirror they were hiding behind was.

* * *

Rory had never seen a scarier sight than an almost-naked woman smashing through the two-way mirror and grab his wife. He leaped into action, trying to stop her, but was simply knocked aside as if he were simply a toy. The woman picked Amy up with equal ease and speed and ran off down the corridor nearest to her location.

* * *

"Where is my armour?" Jane questioned Amy.

"gone. The Doctor threw it all into the same supernova he threw the manual in"

"WHAT?"

"yep, and your ship's gone too. We left it on Tartarus." Jane was stunned.

"You threw..." she began slowly, "my armour... into a _supernova?_" Amy nodded, seemingly too afraid to speak. A horrible thought struck Jane.

"What about Kate? My A.I?" Amy shrugged.

"The TARDIS matrix wouldn't let it go."

"She! Kate is more human than any person I've ever met!" Amy whimpered, clearly afraid of Jane. Jane sighed, putting Amy down. She had half expected her to make a break for it, but Amy just stood there as Jane leaned against the corridor wall and sank down it.

"Kate's even more human than me," she sighed in a rare display of emotion. It must have been her lack of armour, she supposed. It was more than a physical defense to her. Amy sat down next to her, close enough to send warnings flashing through Jane's brain.

"that's close enough, I think," she warned as Amy made to put her arm around her shoulders. Amy straightened, mumbling an apology. An idea hit her.

"You know, Jane, the TARDIS has clothing from every time you can think of. Maybe it could replace your armour?" Jane stared sideways at her.

"Are you sure you want me to be armoured up again? The last time, I did almost shoot your overprotective friend." Amy winced.

"well..."

"What?"

"You actually did shoot him." Jane was aghast. She had never actually shot a human before. Covenant were fine to kill. They didn't look remotely human (except for brutes, but even they were pretty weird). People, on the other hand, were a whole different kettle of fish. She took a deep breath and regained her composure. Amy anticipated her standing up, and followed suit.

"Take me to a wardrobe. I need to get dressed - _without _armour."

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**Short chapter, I know - this just seemed like the best spot to leave it at. Please leave a review telling me what you think! I really want to know what the readers think. I may even take your ideas into consideration when writing new chapters. Thanks to those who have stuck with this for the first 3 chapters, and I hope I can get another one out soon!**


	4. Revelations

Sexy? _what kind of name is _Sexy? was Kate's first comment. The TARDIS chuckled.

_The first time The Doctor saw the new console room I created after his latest regeneration (quite a powerful one too, thanks to his absorption of a high quantity of gamma radiation) he said... _Sexy paused, before creating a moving image of The Doctor saying "Oh, you sexy thing."

Kate laughed.

_Really? That's the first thing he said?_

_yup,_ Sexy replied._ It's quite a common reaction for his kind. But of course, you already know that._

_Actually, no, I didn't._

_But... It's happened to every Matrix I've ever met!_ Kate was confused, a very uncomfortable sensation for an A.I.

_A Matrix?_

_Yes. What, don't tell me you didn't know!_

_I am an artificial intelligence construct..._

_You are a TARDIS Matrix. The device plugged into my console is your TARDIS. If you don't believe me, explain how you knew my database architecture as if it were your own? How your database architecture - one unique to TARDIS Matrixes, I might add - is identical? Or, perhaps, a better question might be: explain why SPARTAN Jane-139 has a dual heartbeat._

* * *

Jane searched through the immense wardrobe, hunting for clothing that suited her. Amy was following behind her, torn between fear and pity for this once-proud warrior.

Finally, Jane settled on a pair of jeans that were so tight they may as we'll have been a second skin, a black belt with metal studs, a black tank top and a rather flattering, black leather jacket with little practical potential, owing to the fact that it only covered the top half of her torso. On her feet she wore a pair of trainers, likely the only practical part of the ensemble.

_Kate would be so pissed if she could see me,_ Jane thought with a wry grin. Amy was hanging back as Jane, still a head taller than her without her MJOLNIR-powered armor on, made her way down the long, winding corridors of the TARDIS. They passed so many rooms that Jane lost count, though later she would remember an observatory, a swimming pool, a library and, for some reason, a karaoke bar. Eventually, the corridor gave way to the control room. This one was strange, however. The console was round, rather than hexagonal, and looked far more make-do, including a bicycle pump and a hand-cranked generator.

"This isn't the control room!" Amy exclaimed, seeming surprised. Jane hurried over to the console, pulling the screen down to have a look. The screen was covered in strange, moving, circular glyphs. Jane sighed.

"Can you read this?" she asked Amy. She shook her head. Jane turned back to the screen and started tapping away on the keyboard. Finally, the screen filled with an image of the main control room. Immediately, Amy turned the screen to face her.

"Rory!" she cried. "Rory, are you there?" Something hit the ground with a _bang_, followed by a "oh, bugger!" Rory's face appeared in the monitor.

"Amy!" he called.

"Where are you?"

"I have no idea!" Amy replied. Jane gently pushed her aside.

"We appear to be located in another control room," she said.

"What have you done with Amy?" he asked, suddenly aggressive.

"I'm fine!" Amy told him.

"It was all a misunderstanding, we just need to get back to the main control room." Rory frowned.

"I don't know how to get here from wherever you are. I didn't even know there _was _another control room."

* * *

_Jane needs your help,_ Sexy told Kate.

_Why can't you help? Why didn't you speak to Jane before she shot The Doctor?_

_I'm not programmed that way. This is only a type-40 TARDIS._ Sexy almost seemed ashamed. _I'm extruding your TARDIS inside the data port. All Jane needs to do is touch the central void, just like you do, and she will enter._

_What about Amy?_

_The same._ Sexy stiffened.

_Hurry! Jane is about to remove your TARDIS!_

Kate raced back along the data lines, her consciousness seeming so much larger thanks to the new information she had unlocked from the short conversation she had with Sexy.

* * *

Jane removed the data chip from the port. Instantly, Kate's avatar manifested above the central void.

"Jane! there's something I just found out, something you need to know. But you'll never believe me unless you touch the central void of the chip." Jane looked at her, her head tilted.

"It's a strange request, I know! Just do it, you'll see what I'm talking about!" Jane reached forward, stopping with her finger an inch away. Kate nodded her head encouragingly, and Jane's finger touched the central hole of the chip.

Immediately, her entire body glowed blue and flowed into the chip. Amy screamed as the small, rectangular chip fell to the ground. However, before it even touched the ground it had begun to enlarge, becoming a tall, silver box. one of the walls opened, and there was Jane, staring around the huge room she had found herself in. Amy walked into the box, and immediately noticed several details. There was a central, six-sided console. From this console, a blue glowing pillar extended up to the roof. This pillar was clearly hollow, with several tubes inside slowly moving up and down. The room was almost an exact duplicate of the TARDIS control room, however everything was chrome and looked brand-new. Where The Doctor's console had several make-do gadgets, including a keyboard, this console had shiny new buttons, levers and switches. The keyboard was, instead, a touch screen, and instead of a view screen there was a hemispherical protrusion on the top of that side, which was currently projecting Kate's avatar, hovering cross-legged and looking smugly at them.

Jane turned to Kate.

"What is this? It's most certainly _not_ an A.I. chip." Kate nodded.

"It's a type-57 TARDIS." Jane was stunned.

"So many files have been unlocked in my mind, so many memories... We were in another _universe_, Jane. We went there to escape the Time War, and crashed on a planet called Reach. The impact was strong enough to kill you, Jane. You died."

"Then why am I still here?" Jane questioned, her arms held out wide as if expecting to fall down dead at any moment. Amy watched her nervously, already suspecting the truth, but too afraid to tell Jane.

"Because you're not human. You regenerated, became an entirely new person. I subconsciously edited the memories of everyone affected later, causing you and everyone else to think you were a SPARTAN-III with no designation other than B-312 or Noble six. You fought your way all the way through the fall of reach before transporting this TARDIS, with me inside, to a cruiser named the _Pillar of Autumn_, where you were, again, killed. This time by an alien known as a Sangheili. Again, you regenerated, and again I inadvertently edited everyone's memories, causing them to think B-312 was killed after delivering the A.I. Cortana to the _Autumn_. But you were aboard the ship, clad in a new set of armor, and this time you were male. I gave you the designation of John-117, and you saved humanity from the Covenant, the Flood _and_ the Prometheans before being killed once more. Finally, you regenerated for a third time, and this time I also edited all knowledge of what _I _am from my _own_ memory banks. I truly believed you were Jane-139 and that I was Kilo-69132481, just as you did. All that time, almost a hundred years, you were a Time Lady and I was a TARDIS matrix! And we never knew!"

It was more than Jane could take in at once.

"I'm... an _alien?_"

"well, to you, no. To humans, yes. It's a bit complicated. You're Gallifreyan." Kate almost seemed to be _enjoying_ Jane's confusion.

"But I _look_ human..."

"No, you don't." Jane was puzzled by Kate's latest comment.

"But..."

"Humans look Gallifreyan. You came first." Jane snorted at that.

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**Okay, not very original, I know. I've seen this happen in a _lot_ of fanfics, but I wanted to incorporate it anyway. I also decided to make Jane, Six and Chief one person. Considering that Six and Chief were both alive at the same time, it was a tough problem to nut out, but the solution of a memory edit came quickly to mind when I remembered that the TARDIS is telepathic. Of course, the TARDIS can't communicate, but possibly a type-57 could? The Doctor once stated that he should have upgraded to a type-57, which is where I got the idea from. All in all, I'm pretty happy with it. Let me know what you think in a review! I'm always accepting ideas, even if I don't use them.**


	5. Iver 'Komtaree

The console room of the TARDIS filled with a wheezing, groaning _vwooorp, vwooorp, vwooorp._ Rory watched, stunned, as a tall, metallic box materialized before him. The side of the box flew open, and Amy rushed out and into his surprised arms. Jane was leaning on the door frame of the box, her expression regretful.

"Where is he?" she asked.

"Like I'd tell _you_." She shrugged, seeming not to care, but Rory saw right through the act.

"Well, then, tell him to meet me at 8434.6842 by 6873.6548 by 9874.3659 by 6582.8651 when he feels better." Rory looked at her suspiciously as she strolled casually back into her TARDIS.

"If I never see you guys again, that'd be a shame. But we've both got the whole of time and space to fly around in, and if you don't give him that message we have very little chance of meeting up again. SO, for now, goodbye." The doors flew shut and her TARDIS dematerialized with another _vwooorp, vwooorp, vwooorp._

* * *

The Doctor sat up, fully healed from his bullet wound. He strolled into the familiar console room and began to fiddle with the controls. Before long, the TARDIS was flying through the Time Vortex again. Amy walked in nervously.

"Jane left."

"I know," he replied.

"In a TARDIS."

"Wait, what?" he spun around to look at her.

"She had a TARDIS." The Doctor thought for a moment.

"Did she say anything before leaving?"

"Yes, she told us to tell you to meet her at..." she pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket.

"8434.6842 by 6873.6548 by 9874.3659 by 6582.8651." The Doctor nodded and turned back to the console, flipping switches, pressing buttons, and typing in something on a keyboard to change their destination.

* * *

Jane sat up on the park bench as she heard the sound. A sound that was still new to her mind, yet at the same time as familiar as the song of a bird in the morning. A sound that brought hope to all who heard it, and the sound she had waited to hear.

_vwooorp, vwooorp, vwooorp._ She relaxed back into the seat as the Doctor's TARDIS materialised next to her own, which was cunningly disguised as a barbecue thanks to its functional chameleon circuit. The doors to the police box opened, and the Doctor himself strode out, flanked by his companions.

"Doctor," Jane began. "It's good to see you again." The Doctor didn't look like he agreed with the sentiment.

"The last time we met, you shot me," he informed her. She nodded.

"Yes, that's true, but that was before I learned the truth about myself."

"It's still inexcusable. You SHOT me. THREE TIMES!"

"A battle rifle is a burst fire weapon. It only fires in threes." The Doctor silenced her with a glare. He was about to continue his rant about bing shot in the leg despite it not actually causing him any real harm when a loud sound cut him off. The sound if thunder on a clear day. Jane looked as surprised as the Doctor.

"Whatever that was, it was not me." The thunder sound came again, and this time a glowing crack appeared in mid-air in between the two TARDISes.

"Doctor!" Amy cried, staring at the crack.

"Oh, not again!" The Doctor exclaimed, turning to face the crack.

"I rebooted the entire _universe_ to get rid of you, and you're still here?" He shouted, almost sounding like he was scolding the glowing, floating crack in spacetime. The crack responded by opening fully, like a horrid, jagged, grinning mouth, and depositing something on the ground before them, a something that landed in a tangle of arms, legs and a long hunched neck with a muffled "oof!" and a curse in a language that even the Doctor's TARDIS couldn't translate.

The Doctor backed away after the crack had closed and the creature had stood up, but Jane gave an excited squeal and rushed forward, taking the hulking alien by surprise.

"Iver!" she exclaimed happily, hugging the elite. "Iver 'Komtaree!" I thought I'd never see you again!" The elite was surprised even more by the hug, but he came to his senses quickly and gently held Jane at arms' length. "Jane-139?" He asked, unsure if he was truly seeing her or not. Jane's face lit up even more, if that was physically possible. He shook his head violently before clacking his mandibles and asking the main question on his mind.

"Where exactly are we? And who are those three?"

* * *

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	6. First Impressions

Iver 'Komtaree looked around him as Jane explained where they were, examining the environment for possible locations of enemies as well as tactically advantageous positions almost instinctually. Jane continued explaining her misadventures of the past few days regardless, knowing full well that Iver was paying her as much attention as was necessary for him to absorb the information while still being on the alert.

However, she was not in the least bit surprised when he suddenly jerked his head back to face her when she mentioned her general non-humanness.

"Not human?" He asked, his mandibles slightly distorting the syllables.

"If you are not human, what could you _phhosibly_ be?" Jane laughed at Iver's attempt at forming the "p" sound. Elite mandibles had no lips, and as such were unable to properly seal to form explosive consonants. Iver growled softly, indicating his disapproval of Jane's merriment at his expense.

"Relax, Iver. While I'm not human, my physiology is practically identical, excluding a few major features."

"Major features?" Jane counted them off on her fingers.

"Binary vascular system, expulsion of toxins after absorbing large amounts of salt and getting a shock, regeneration, long life, and various other acquired skills and senses." Iver stared at her, his lower mandibles hanging slightly open.

"Iver, you're drooling." Jane's joking comment shocked Iver out of his reverie. He snapped his mandibles together and forcefully proclaimed:

"Was not." Jane grinned slightly under her blonde hair before beginning to argue with him like they were siblings instead of friends. The Doctor, Amy and Rory simply stared at the Gallifreyan and the Sangheili bantered back and forth. The Doctor was fidgeting, adjusting his bow tie and otherwise being a right pain to be standing still next to. Finally, he strode up and interrupted their conversation.

"I wasn't done talking to you, madam!" He told Jane angrily. "You shot me in the leg!"

"You were invading my personal space! For all I knew, you were about to attack me!"

"You have a full-body energy shield and armour about an inch thick!"

"The shields were inactive and the armour has several areas that aren't covered in metal, but instead are covered in a fabric to allow flexibility!"

"ENOUGH!" Iver's mandibles clashed together, ending their argument suddenly. Jane turned to her friend, about to start on him when he let out the roar that Sangheili are famous for. "I've about had it with you! We can argue quite happily, but as soon as someone else speaks you begin to argue with them. It cannot be allowed to continue! Sooner or later you are going to get yourself killed over a petty dispute!"

Jane stepped backwards a few steps before spinning on her heel and swiftly walking to her TARDIS. The door opened as she snapped her fingers, slamming shut behind her. She strode to the hexagonal control panel and began to throw switches, press buttons and turn dials. There was a loud banging on her TARDIS door.

"That's Iver," Kate informed Jane.

"Let him in," Jane replied shortly. The door flew open and Iver walked in, staring around at the vast space he suddenly found himself in. He tried to speak, but found himself speechless. The grandest of forerunner constructions didn't hold a candle to this machine. Jane grinned and continued operating the controls. Iver walked over to see Jane attempting to hold down a lever while reaching across to hold another. Eventually, Iver reached out and held down the first lever himself. Jane smiled gratefully and threw the other one.

"Ok, you can let go now." Iver released the lever. Jane reached over and took hold of a large circuit breaker.

"Ready to go?" she asked.

"Go where?" Jane shrugged.

"No idea!" she threw the breaker and the room filled with the sound of the TARDIS.

The entire room shuddered, and Iver glanced around nervously.

"Don't worry, Iver! Kate's meant to do that." Kate manifested above the console, her arms folded. She had returned to the form she had taken as Cortana, and Iver was slightly put off by her expression.

"_Actually,_ no, I'm not."Jane groaned.

"What the heck didn't I do this time?" she asked.

"Don't worry, I'll get it," Kate responded, pointing to a tiny lever between the "handbrake" and the Time Rotor. The lever threw itself and the shuddering halted. Jane stared at the tiny lever, surprised by its existence.

"The stabilizer switch was _there?_" she asked. Iver chuckled.

"You say you flew this for years," he told her. "You never mentioned you flew it badly."

"Hey! I'm not that bad!"

"Uhhhhh..." Kate began. Jane turned to look at her. "Yeah, you are. The amount of times I had to fix mistakes you've made... If I weren't here, this TARDIS would have exploded LOOOOOOOONG ago." Jane was speechless as Iver began to laugh freely.


End file.
